I Have Every Reason To Hate You
by Cryptic Sarcasm
Summary: An unsent letter from Hermione to Draco while she sits in her cell. HGxDM pairing. After a different version of the seventh book occurs. Voldemort has won. Now updated with another chapter.
1. I Have Every Reason To Hate You

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. It mostly belongs to J.K Rowling and whomever she decides. Like her editors. But I'm not one of her editors. So no, I don't own it. I'm just borrowing a couple of her characters for a while.**_

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_**I Have Every Reason To Hate You**_

_Malfoy-_

_Maybe once I've finished writing this letter I'll feel better. Of course, you'll never actually get to read it, but I need to get it all out, all this emotion I'm bearing inside of me. There's so much I'd like you yell at you that it'd take forever and a day to finish._

_I don't know why I'm writing it though after that. Even being rewarded the title "The Smartest Witch in My Year" I still haven't quite figured it out. _

_However, I feel with all my heart that I have every reason on earth to hate you with my entire being, and I know I do._

_You know that you completely ruined my life, left me shattered. My whole world absolutely torn apart. Not that you would care. After the Death Eaters took over, you showed your true colours. I never should have believed that there was something good in you. Never. I never thought you would lie to me. You conniving bastard. _

_You killed my parents, the ones I thought would be safe. Their bodies were found mangled on their living room floor, splattered in blood. I almost didn't recognize them, or the house that I grew up in. You smashed the family heirlooms, stole all the money that was in the house, completely destroyed the rooms and you worst of all destroyed all the photos. All the memories that I kept in that house are now gone, along with my parents' lives._

_You betrayed us to them. The ones that you swore to us with every fibre of yourself that you'd destroy. _

_Your words were poison, letting us believe what you said to us about Voldemort, giving us the hope that we could actually succeed to build a better place where there would always be hope, and then you swiped our hope right beneath our feet in that one last fight as you started picking us off, one by one, eventually giving Harry to Voldemort when he was defenceless. _

_You are a coward and have no sense of dignity and no courage whatsoever to even give your enemy a chance to live. And that was after stabbing Ron with that dreadful knife. _

_That's something I'll never forgive you for. _

_You're an unfeeling git._

_You had the chance to be a good person. To decide to do the right thing for once in your life. Even Snape decided that he was with us. You let us all down. _

_We believed in you, that you had changed for the good. We thought that you had decided to make a difference to all those lives that could have been saved. All those children who never even had the opportunity to even have a life, to get married, go to Hogwarts even, to experience the things that you take for granted, you disgusting pig._

_And those who did actually make it to school, you corrupted their minds. The ones who should be creating, not killing. And you made them kill each other, their friends, just for a sport. _

_Worst of all, you left me alive to suffer. I remember us talking about how it would be one of the worst things in the world to happen to us. We were strolling alongside the riverbank that night – when you said you loved me. _

_You completely and utterly betrayed my trust. _

_Remember that I saved your life that one time? When you were about to be run over by a truck – not that you even knew what it was at the time. _

_You owe me your life._

_Although you spared me at the last battle, you subjected me to a lifetime of torture._

_Yesterday I saw you through the bars of my cell with Pansy, who still looks more like a pug than ever. She was hideously batting her eyes, puckering her lipstick smeared lips up to give you a kiss. I never ever wanted more to curse you and her. _

_Is she better than me? Do you even regret making me feel that way? I __**loved**__ you Draco. Does it keep you up at night – remembering how you tricked me? Did you ever, even for a second stop and actually believed that you loved me too? _

_Did you ever feel guilty that I truly loved you? _

_Do you ever repent about what you've done to my life?_

_To so many other lives?_

_I should have left you to die when you ran out so stupidly in front of that truck. _

_I have every reason to hate you._

_I could despise you with every fibre of my body._

_But I won't._

_Because I love you._

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_**A/N: This was originally going to be called 'Ten Reasons Why' and there was going to be ten reasons why Hermione hated Malfoy… But then I couldn't think of ten. So there's just some that I made up. What a lame excuse eh?? Tell me what you think!**_


	2. You Have Every Reason To Hate Me

_**Disclaimer: If I own Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy, then the Harry Potter books would suck badly and they probably wouldn't be called Harry Potter. Doesn't life suck in that way?**_

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_**You Have Every Reason To Hate Me**_

_Dear Hermione,_

_I did end up finding your letter after all, in your cell after I convinced Voldemort to free you. __I believe that you do know why you wrote that letter, even though you say you don't. It's written all over your letter._

_It took me a while__ to think of the right words to reply to your letter. There really isn't much you can say to someone who has every reason on earth to hate you. Not really. _

_I suppose I could tell you not to hate me, for I never really stopped loving you. But the mind has no judg__ement when revenge takes it over. _

_I was angry, hungry for revenge when I saw you kissing Weasley. Or Ron__, I suppose I should call him. He told me that it was his fault and that he didn't know that I loved you as he fell to the floor. I regret killing him. I regret a lot. But know that because he kissed you, was the reason I betrayed you all. All because of you, you know. _

_You tore the inside of my chest out and I still bear the scars. But I didn't use my heart, like you told me to all those times. _

_Isn't it ironic that how it is the living that must suffer the consequences of the dead?_

_I would apologize for all those I killed that you held so close to your heart but not killing you, butI left you, so I could find you later, only to come to know that you despise me with your very being. I thought I had paid you back for saving my life. _

_But is that really paying you back? Should I kill you? _

_I doubt I could bring myself to do so if I wanted to do so. You mean far too much to me._

_That's why I'm leaving this damn awful place, in search of a better one. __Of course, I'll leave my wand behind. _

_I need to start again, renew myself. __I can't blame my parents for what I've done this time. I've always had the choice to say no, but I didn't take the chance. You're right. I'm a coward. I'm not worthy of you or your memory. I never was. _

_It's started snowing, so the scenery will be beautiful as I walk. Snow's always reminded me of purity, uniqueness but strength too. Even though people admire its beauty and marvel at what scenes it creates, they still trample through it because it's just snow. _

_You remind me of exactly that. But your beauty and marvels should never be dismissed, nor only looked at but not truly__ appreciated just because you're another person in the crowd. _

_For you're so much more than that you always have been. So, wherever I venture to, I'll__ constantly be reminded of you which will be both a pleasure and a pain simultaneously. _

_To have you, but not have you is simply contradictory in itself. __It's cruel, unusual and should never have happened. _

_And I didn't mention the best part of it snowing did I? Well, here it is: When the snow melts away, it leaves you with a beautiful springtime air. No tainted pollut__ion hovering about - just a cool breeze and perhaps a new start. It's what I've been wanting for a long time. _

_Please don't try to find me. I'll be happier leaving knowing that you hate me than love me. Or I'll never want to leave and that's something I can't afford to happen. I have to leave behind absolutely everything that I hold dear here, all the troubles too. _

_I tried to forget you before, but I ended up forgetting myself in whatever was offere__d. Pansy Parkinson tried to help in her own way but it didn't work. Nobody will ever compare to you. _

_As I take my turn in finding myself once more, carry on surviving as you have because one day I might come back. I'll come back searching for you and only you._

_And as I bid you a final farewell, r__emember to hate me._

_You have every reason to hate me._

_Because I love you too._

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_**A/N: **__Well you asked for it… It's mushy, it's gushy. Are you prepared for the torture? I certainly hope so. By the way. I'm arming myself with protective weapons to shield myself from the complaints I'll receive after posting this for 1. Taking so long 2. Making it fluffy and not properly angst... I think. Oh, and yet again my computer's gone funny with the formatting. Unfortunately, I have no idea how on earth to fix it... Oh wells, tell me what you think!_


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